A villain sits beside my ear
and fills me to the depths with fear
of past decrees I can’t negate
and struggles I anticipate.
I feed him doubt, regret and rage
as he grows fat atop my cage;
we sink together underground
where only demons’ taunts resound.
It’s here in darkness I reside
because I failed to cast aside
my shoulder monster’s extra weight;
but I cannot accept this fate.
Against the dark contrasts a flame
that didn’t glow above the same;
and now, down here, I finally see
this thing can be pushed off of me –
but no one else will pull him down;
if I don’t stand, I’ll surely drown.
So I must choose to starve the beast
of apathy he yearns to feast.
He tells me, it’s not worth a try!
Just crumble up and wonder why
this comfy space inside your mind
is rimmed with shackles, intertwined.
I lift my knees up off the floor
and reach the handle on the door;
he shutters as I turn the key
and scream, get the fuck off of me!
It’s only I who can decide
to fail at what I haven’t tried.
This structure of complacency
will be forgotten once I’m free.
The shackles fall as I explode
out of the prison that I sewed;
and when the path ahead was cleared
my shoulder monster disappeared.
It’s easy now to persevere
without his whispers in my ear;
and though I know we’ll reunite
each battle is but mine to fight.